"Clutter isn’t just the stuff in your closet. It’s anything that gets between you and the life that you want to be living."
There were many meaningful conversations that I had with my therapist. She once told me that her clients tend to put their home in order once they get to a better place mentally. It seems to be the natural flow. She was amused when I explained to her that my occupation is to help people get better mentally by helping them declutter and organize their home. It’a bit like swimming against the current, but we are definitely working towards the same goal! she said encouragingly; to help people learn the tools to feel better, be better and do better.
This deepens my belief that the physical state of your environment can affect you psychologically and vice versa. While it’s okay to prioritize self-care and rest when you need it, I believe that if you care for the home, the home will care for you.
You might argue that it’s a one-sided relationship, and you’re stuck on the giving end because ultimately you have to do everything. What does the home do exactly? It’s doesn’t self clean and self organize itself. To quote KC Davis from her book How to keep house while drowning, ”you do not exist to serve your space, your space exists to serve you.”
The difference in mindsets lies in the choice of words. In this case, the verb to serve carries a heavy connotation. I find that it is associated to performance, to duties, to worth, to power struggle, to entitlement. Whereas to care has a much softer and lighter tone; you care for someone you love, for something that you cherish.
The home is an extension of you. Therefore, taking care of your home is like pouring into your own cup. It is time invested back to you, into making your daily routine go smoother.
It’s okay to feel fine with the way your home is right now. It might not be the right time or you might not be in the right space. However if you ever decide that you are ready for a tidying festival, there are 3 steps you might want to consider.
Step one is to admit that there is an issue and that you no longer feel okay with the current state of being and/or things.
Step two is to decide that you want to change and/or fix it.
Step three is to get into action and seek support if needed.
Until then, let the flow set the pace for your decision.